So instead I’m using this, because they’re name-dropped in the story, too. Perhaps it’s apt in other ways.

I suppose I could’ve looked for a picture of a Make Love, Not War plaque, or a cummy pillowcase, or the boy this may or may not be* based on, but meh. I also could’ve decided to not mention the BoDeans are to thank for that infectious Party of Five theme song, but then you wouldn’t have it stuck in your heads now.

You’re welcome.

Enjoy.

*read: “Totally is.”

I received a handful of very nice personal rejections for this story (previously titled “Father”) — all in the “This is really great, but not quite for us” vein. The earliest rejection, from the lovely Roxane Gay over at Pank, had a very helpful comment about things getting lost in the language of the piece. It was true, and I (tried) to redraft accordingly.

When I saw a response from Chris at Annalemma in my inbox last December, I was ready for another, “Great, but–” message. Truth be told, that’s kind of what I got: acceptance contingent upon editing.

Which, you know, is not unheard of. Which I can appreciate. Which says a lot about a publication and an editor (not to discount any of the other people from places that did reject the piece), that they are willing to work with you on something to get it as great as it can be.

So, thanks Chris. I’m looking forward to the next print issue.

I’m…honored?…nervous?…surprised?…to again be a finalist for the Windy City Story Slam All-City Championships.

From their website:

It’s that time of year again!

This year we’re proud to bring you the 2nd Annual Windy City Story Slam All-City Championships from the Double Door (1572 N. Milwaukee).

We’ll be hearing from our finalists Alex Bonner, Fernando Hernandez, Nicolette Kittinger, Maggie Ritchie, and Alexis Thomas.

We’ll also have some special guests joining us: 2009 National Book Award finalist Bonnie Jo Campbell, John Patrick Hemingway, John Schultz, and Ben Evans.

The night’s musical guest is White Mystery.

Be there at 8 p.m. Friday, February 26th. $7 cover, or $25 for a VIP ticket (admit it, you are a very important person).

Last year’s show at Metro saw 900+ attendees. Drunk, surly, cold Wrigleyville types, many (I’m sure) who’d never heard of Story Slam before and were lured in by virtue of the show being free, and the temperature being well below zero. In true Story Slam fashion, the show was packed with featured readers and music. Add that to a roster of eleven finalists and an unwillingness on the venue’s staff’s part to let people in and out to smoke and, well, people get antsy. And drunk. And yell-y.

There were complaints. There was fallout. Bruised egos and burned bridges. People took to the internetz to voice their disappointment.

It was one of the best nights of my life. Bill “The Butcher” Hillmann (or should I say Reverend Butcher?), Story Slam founder, his crew, and everyone involved in the show came together and did something that won’t be soon forgotten. For better or worse.

Though, I did get married that night. So, I’m biased.

Come on out to the finals. There will be music and featured readers, but the the semi-finals show at the end of 2009 means a smaller roster of finalists, stronger stories, and less time for you to get drunk and obnoxious. It’ll be a fun night, to be sure.

Gloria Steinem — American feminist and social/political activist — opposed the release of the book, by Bret Easton Ellis, because, I think we can all guess why.

Steinem, years later, at the age of sixty-six, would become a first-time bride when she married David Bale.

That’s right. She’s Patrick Bateman’s step-mom.

Mike & Niki Make a Podcast, Ep. 8: American Psycho Commentary

This episode of Mike & Niki Make a Podcast is an audio commentary, meant to be listened to while you watch American Psycho. We recorded while watching the Blu-Ray edition, but of course it would sync with any available version.

I enjoy what Miracle Jones and his crew are doing at Fiction Circus, and I’m, dare I say it, proud to align myself with a man who’s self-published his short story collection on a penis-shaped flash drive.

Jones says of his collection, Seed:

Seed is not just an idle curiosity, however. Seed represents a marriage between humanity’s two oldest art forms: the story and the sculpture. I believe that all book stores will someday be repositories of wonders such as Seed and that the duty of the modern creator is to infuse the boring material world with fascinating artistic information. I envision that someday even lamps and toasters will be filled with fiction, comics, and movies. Tophats will contain whole worlds!

Like all of the stories at Fiction Circus, “Eleventeen” is accompanied by original art. Xerxes Verdammt did the illustrations that accompany my story, and I couldn’t be more pleased with them.

Even though there are countless online and print markets out there to submit to, it can still be difficult to place off-color or “unsavory” work. I’m not surprised; from my experience, it seems a lot of that kind of work tends to come from nutcases and isn’t really “work” at all.It isn’t always easy to understand a writer’s intention with a piece like that. But it is nice to know that places like Fiction Circus exist. I look forward to working with Jones and his crew again.

Not only were they willing to take time out of their Sunday morning for the interview, they were also kind, funny, and very informative and helpful. It was lucky that I connected with them then; they were swamped with submissions, and were considering bringing on a reader. A few weeks later, after sending my CV and cover letter, I was part of the Avery team.  And I was ecstatic.

I had worked on literary magazines before, but all were connected with my college. It’s fine experience, but the idea is to then take that experience and apply it somewhere else, isn’t it?

Of course I’m biased, but I think we have a fantastic line-up for Avery 5. I am particularly fond of B.B. Sevilla’s  ”He Seldom Deigns to Beat This Sickly Child.”

Pick up a copy of Avery 5 today, or support another small literary magazine. It’s the small, dedicated readerships that keep these enterprises alive.

Imagine our surprise when it was a thirteen- or fourteen-year-old listener. His prizes, McDonalds Happy Meal toys from the release of Back to the Future III, are older than he is.

Mike & Niki Make a Podcast, Ep. 3: Back to the Future Commentary

Pop in your copy of Back to the Future and join us. And remember: Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.